A Little Trip to Fenway

I woke up and all I had to do was make it through English class and I was off to Fenway.  But of course the day couldn’t be that easy.  We planned on going to a Red Sox game a week before and had all our plans squared away.  But the morning of, shit hit the fan.  The one person we were relying on the most, because he had a car, bailed out because he was “sick.”  Honestly, you must be on your deathbed if you’re going to bail out on going to Fenway Park.  Fenway is the most historic park of all time, built in 1912 (the same year that the Titanic sank) and is the oldest park still around today.  So if you have tickets and don’t go, you must be on crack (especially if you have never been before).  So now, we had 7 tickets and no ride.  We acted fast and called everyone we knew with a car asking if they wanted to go with us, or if they would rent us their car for the night.  No one was around.  We were shit out of luck and were stuck paying for a game that we would not be in attendance for.  Luckily we got a text within an hour of our original departure time saying we could borrow his car, but it only could fit 5.  One of our friends dropped out and this allowed us to go.

What kind of car did we just get offered, you ask?  A Prius: a mother fucking Toyota Prius. 

Allen Gamble: It’s my car. It’s a Prius. 
Terry Hoitz: I feel like we're literally driving around in a vagina.

(Scene from The Other Guys)

We all squished in and started our trip to the lovely city of Boston.  Boston is 93.24 miles from Amherst and about a two-hour drive.  The only thing that sucks driving anywhere out of town is getting to the damn Mass Pike.  You honestly drive for 35 minutes of back roads to get to the Pike, that was the worst of the journey.  During the two-hour ride, we bonded, talked about our significant others, had some boy talk, and of course sang.  We sang harder than any boy band out there.  Anything from “Call Me Maybe” to back woods country, if we knew the lyrics it was mandatory to sing them.

We made it into Fenway with an hour and a half to spare and 2 extra tickets.  Since we needed gas money and parking money we decided to sell the tickets.  We found buyers in no time and took in an extra $40 to use on our expenses.

Things to do when you go to Fenway:

1: Get there early and watch batting practice.

2: Walk around the stadium and check out everything.  Even though its old, they have been adding and improving it for the past decade.

3: BUY A FENWAY FRANK.  If you don’t like hot dogs, then you are un-American.  Fenway Franks are the most delicious food.

4: Go to right field and see the Ted Williams Seat.  This marks the spot of the furthest recorded home run hit at Fenway.

5: Enjoy the game.

6: Have the peanut hawker toss you a bag.  If he sees your hand up and you’re 15 rows away, he will throw them to you.  These guys have that job for a reason.

7: Sing ‘take me out to the ballgame’ during the 7^th inning stretch.

8: Sing ‘Sweet Caroline’ during the middle of the 8^th inning.

9: Partake in the wave!  You may think it is childish, but it may be one of the greatest perks of being at the game.

10: Take photos, these are memories that you will never forget and you will want some mementos to keep.

I can’t tell you how many games I have been to, but I can tell you that every game I attend someone gets engaged.  It is as if Fenway pulls out the romantic side in every guy.  I can’t imagine that the girl enjoys this though.  First of all, she is put up on the jumbo-tron in front of 35,000 people; next she pretty much has to say yes, unless she wants to face embarrassment, and finally who wants to get engaged at a baseball game?  No prince charming can ever woo a lady at the game, it is like asking a your girl friend to marry you at a fucking farm.  To all the Romeos out there, don’t propose to your girlfriend at the game, drink a beer and have a frank.

So this particular game I went to on April 17 against the Texas Rangers was an absolute blowout.  When I say blowout, I mean it.  I’m talking about a good old backyard beat down.  The final score was 18-3, and the Red Sox didn’t win.  But that was okay by me.  The fact that I was at the game with my friends made it okay.  A good thing about blowouts is everyone leaves early.  So after it got out of hand, we got seat upgrades.  Our $18 seats turned into $200+ for an hour or so.  We were field level; two rows back watching the last inning of the game.  Nothing wrong with that, if you’re going to spend money on tickets, why not gets the full value out of them.  Overall the Sox got spanked, but the experience was great.