Settling the Debate

So the Geese have had a debate since the beginning of the year: how to pronounce the Chinese food "General Tso's Chicken." Now I and few others have always pronounced it with a "g" like sound, while the majority claims it sounds more like an "s." So you can imagine my excitement when this commercial came on my TV. The debate has been settled gentlemen.

DFF Lineup

Hello everyone, and welcome to another DFF.  The Freeroll is running Friday night and we look to place in the top 20 this time.  I am short on time since the Mrs. is graduating tonight and ill be out until the wee hours of the morning.  Anyways, here is my team… Remember I will leave you two pitchers spots and the utility positions to you. Here is the link, do not forget to sign up, and my team is on the following page of this post. FREEROLL BITCHES

ALL OF US AUTHORS MAY ALL SUPPORT DIFFERENT PRO TEAMS...

But we all are die-hards for UMass basketball. Pajamas went in on this one. Hope you all like it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6ph4p8Z5Yg&feature=youtu.be

#UMassNation #Brotherhood

World Cup Fever

I do not know if you guys know this song, but it is quite catchy.  It is by the same band that sings "We Are Young".  Anyways this song gets me in two ways: first it makes me wanna blow on a vuvuzella and cheer on some international soccer.  It gives me a World Cup kind of feel.  Then, it makes me wanna empty my pockets of coins and donate them to starving kinds in Africa.  I don't know how far 56 cents will get them; maybe a new pair of Jordans, 5 star dinner, and a new cow, but who knows?  I heard somewhere that people in Africa can survive off of $1.00 a day?  Is this true?  If so sign me up.  I blow through money like it is running out of style.  I spend money everyday and it is more than a dollar.  If I want to drive to the Miss' house, it would probably cost $1.50 just in gas and then you know I am buying dinner and a movie.  So now im $40 deep and it is not even 9:00.  That is enough money for someone to survive for over a month in Africa.  These stats will always blow my mind.

The Green Gang takes on the Big, Bad Heat

Here on Geese Chatter we haven't had much commentary on the NBA, which has had a fantastic postseason so far, so I will be picking up some of the slack.

After Rajon Rondo made the two biggest shots of his life against he 76ers, the Celtics now advance to play the heat tonight. Everybody outside of the Miami area is rooting for the Celtics, even Elton Brand gave his endorsement after game 7. However, almost nobody is giving them a chance. Admittedly, the chances to beat the Heat are not great, but I think the Celtics have a much better shot than any "expert" is giving them. At full strength, I think they might be the favorites, but its clearly an uphill battle. If the Celtics are going to win the series and go on to face one of the two great teams left, there are a few keys:

Rondo- Rondo produced the best 5 minutes of scoring of his career to keep this season alive. He has to absolutely dominate Chalmers, which will eventually force Wade or Lebron to cover him.

KG- KG has played like its 2008 for the past month. This has to continue with no Bosh to cover him. He has to be a factor scoring and rebounding in every game against the likes of Joel Anthony and Udonis Haslem.

Lebron- The best (and most hated) player in the world has rightfully earned a reputation of checking out of the fourth quarter of big ballgames. I think there will be 3-4 very close games, so how he responds is key to the series.

Ray Allen- I think if the Celtics are to win Ray will have to be very good in 3-4 games. Ray has looked absolutely awful and you never know what you are going to get from him offensively. He is the ultimate X factor in this series: if he can play Wade decently, make him cover him, and come up with some big shots, the Celtics will be in good shape.

Ultimately I'm going to pick the Celtics in 7 because this commercial says it better than I ever could.

Happy Memorial Day Flockers

DraftStreet Results

I am blogging from my iPhone so I apologize now for misspellings and common errors.  Okay so today wraps ups our first DraftStreet freeroll.  My team produced average with a whopping 66.05 points.  We didn't come close at all to winning, but we did put up a decent fight.  A few players who under performed: A.J. Ellis, Dustin Pedroia, Zack Cozart, Drew Stubbs, and Wilson Betemit.  A perfect team is hard to create, but that doesn't mean we can't try.  Also Ervin Santana pitched like a shit head.  He let up 4 ER in 5 innings of work.  Also, did I mention that he walked 7 batters and let up 4 hits.  Without those players our team still put up about 60 points.  With 5 different starters and a better pitcher we could have easily been in the running.  Anyways, this sums up our first week of our DFF.  Hope you all enjoyed my advice, I will see you next week.

I FORGOT ROY HALLADAY PITCHES LIKE NO ONE ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH...

Look, I'm a kid who grew up in the bobblehead boom era. I love these things. Are they cheesy? Absolutely. Are they good for anything except collecting dust? Not even a little bit. Are they one of the most awesome free giveaways ever? No doubt. But not even I want this piece of shit. What's wrong with it you ask? Well, for starters, Roy Halladay doesn't smile. Second, what is the difference between that bobblehead and how Halladay really pitches...

Oh that's right, he pitches like a normal righty and puts his glove on his left hand and throws with his right. 

Honestly, what was the person who created this bobblehead thinking? The only explanation for a fuck-up of this magnitude is that this dumbass has actually never watched a baseball game. You can't even say they never played, because anyone who has watched baseball once or twice knows that no one pitches like that. 

So my question is, how does this person get a job making bobbleheads? Why not some other useless sculpture? Leave it to the pros to create these works of art. A Roy Halladay bobblehead should be destined for the desk of Mike and Mike. But this one? It is destined for the garbage. 

Sidenote...this is a great explanation to bring back the best commercial ever: 

She's Married to Who?!

DraftStreet's Friday Freeroll

Let’s give a warm welcome to our newest member of the Chatter, Reid McIntyre.  Reid is one of our very best friends from UMass.  He enjoys long walks, growing his beard, mowing grass, playing Nintendo 64, and sweet-talking the ladies (all ages).  Reid has always been a goose and I really do not know why he hasn’t blogged for us before.  Heads up for NFL news and anything that Mr. Reid can think of.  He is also a fellow Chiver, Chive On! 

Anyways, here is my DraftStreet Team for Tomorrows Free-Roll (DFF).  I will give you my starting 9 + a relief pitcher.  You will need to come up with your own Utility players (2), a second Pitcher, and then a Utility Pitcher (this can be either another starter or another reliever)

She's Married to Who?!

 

What is Draftstreet?

For some of you that do not know what Draftstreet is, I will give you a quick rundown.  It is a daily Fantasy site which you can play for free or money.  I usually play in $2 leagues daily and then I play in the Freerolls on Fridays.  They have all sports and the best part is NO COMMITMENT.  This keeps me active during the season since I am not in a regular MLB fantasy league this year.  Why you ask?  PJ.  PJ is the reason why.  When I first met PJ we talked about fantasy baseball, the season finally came around and we got real serious.  We had 12 member league and were ready to draft and then he says "I don't want to play because I only play weekly leagues, I can't commit to daily leagues."  Are you kidding me?  Weekly fantasy baseball league?  This was straight bush league.  We got in heated arguments and instead of trying to work it out, we ended the league and never spoke of it again.  Anyways my point of that story is that PJ was being a straight vagine.  If you can't deal with daily fantasy baseball, don't even tell me you want to be in a league.  Do not even say you play fantasy baseball if you play weekly.  PJ blue balled the fuck out of me, and the only way I could keep my cool was though Draftstreet.

Draftstreet is different than the usual snake draft fantasy leagues.  It is salary cap leagues.  So you get $100,000 to spend on 14 positions.  C, 1B, 2B, 3B, SS, OF, OF, OF, U, U, SP, SP, RP, P.  Usually pitchers are more expensive and players who are hot are pricey as well.  The league has its own live scoring system, so all you have to do is draft, wait, and watch.  You never know what might happen.

For an example on prices, the most expensive pitcher for Friday is Clayton Kershaw.  Kershaw is just above $18,000.  So if you decide to pick him up, you only have about 80% of your salary left to pick the remaining 13 players.  the most expensive hitter is Josh Hamilton.  Hambone is a cool $12,000.  Picking up these players requires you to pick lower valued players who usually suck.

My advise is to spend $30,000- $35,000 on pitchers and the remaining on hitters.  If you do this, you can spend an average of $6,500 per hitter and this can get you a very good team.  Finally, if you really want your team to excel, make sure everyone is starting.  I have created plenty of teams who had potential, but have lost because of players who didn't play.  This is usually the case with catchers, so check the starting lineup before the games start, this will honestly only take 4 minutes.

Player to pick up: Jonathan Lucroy.  Lucroy is the catcher for the Brewers and is straight fire.  He bats anywhere from leadoff to fifth.  He is on a tear right now and I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't continue to hit.  If you pick him up, make sure he is starting.  Remember he is a catcher and squatting down for 9 innings a night can be strenuous.  All catchers need rest.  Good luck everyone and good night.

Draftstreet Friday Freerolls: DFF

Hey everyone, every friday (for the most part) there is a daily fantasy challenge ran on Draftstreet.com.  Here I will post the link to the free-roll.  If you come in first place out of everyone, you win cash money.  All you need to do is make an account then click on the link, the rest is yours to play with.  I will also post my team and why I am picking them (if I have time).  I usually drop absurd numbers and almost place every week.  So if you are interested please join.  The link will be up on Thursday, and my picks will be posted Friday before the first game starts (usually 7:05 PM).

Here is the first link for Friday: DFF

Also, after the contest is completed, I will post my score and my fellow bloggers scores.  My the best blogger win.

Uncle Drew

So this video has been circulating for about a week and I thought it should be up on the blog. Got to respect to Kyrie Irving who shows off his humor and creativity in this video (also his basketball skills).

The Hipster Glasses Conspiracy

Many things are a mystery for me. Whether I’m watching TV, surfing the internet, or just hanging out with friends, I find myself constantly perplexed. Today’s fashion, music and everything else in our society just boggles my mind. Maybe I’m just out of touch with social norms? Probably – in fact I’m probably the least hip person ever. I still refer to snap backs as “flat-rimmed caps” (which they rightfully SHOULD be called – it only makes sense). A ray band? What in heaven’s name is that? Oakley? Like the Oakland Athletics? Oh my goodness. Maybe I should just stick to Super Nintendo and call it a day.

But the one thing that gets me is those hipster glasses that all those NBA players wear. Not to steal Caleb’s thunder (which was a great read by the way), but I have my own opinion on those crazy abominations. I just can’t believe that people would willingly go out into public wearing them. It just doesn’t add up. That is why I KNOW for a fact that there must be something more to them. They represent something more than a fashion statement. 

After careful research through the Great Archives of History, I have determined that each great organization ever has had a symbol that its members identify themselves with. The World War II Marines all have tattoos. The Masons have those crazy rings that they wear. The list goes on. So, after connecting the dots, it seems that…perhaps these glasses represent a sort of Organization of Great and Important Figures.

The OGIF is very secretive about its actions and members – but they are just beginning to come out of the woodwork. Durant and Westbrook may be the most famous figures of this prestigious club, but there have been many others. They have just been very secretive about it – secretive to the point that nobody knows whom they are or where their Head Quarters is located. But that is about to change.

Here are other members of the OGIF:

Keep in mind that there ARE imposters. They want to be members of this club, but they are not worthy enough. See: LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony.

One thing that is clear, though, is this organization’s leader. The answer is so obvious that nobody could argue otherwise. It is none other than the Manager of the Tampa Bay Rays, Joe Maddon.

The evidence is simply irrefutable. In Tampa Bay, there are no fans – thus making this the perfect location for a secret organization. And why else would Maddon stay in Tampa when he could be making MILLIONS of more dollars and have MILLIONS of more dollars in resources in larger market. This is the only logical explanation. Not to mention that Joe Maddon has been rocking this look for ages – way before everybody else. He is not only the Original Hipster – he is the Almighty Hipster. The glasses Durant and Westbrook have? Clearly forged and created by Maddon using the most rare of materials – only because he deemed them worthy. This proves that they aren’t wearing those glasses to be “hip” – they wear them because they feel honored to be touched by the Hands of Joe Maddon.

The question becomes, what does Joe Maddon hope to accomplish with the OGIF? Who else will be worthy enough to join? And what does he want the members of this organization to accomplish? Is there an even greater conspiracy at work? The biggest question of all becomes, can Joe Maddon handle the power he is accumulating?

 

She's Married to Who?!

This Guy Is An Uncle

If you guys haven't heard, I (Marko), just recently became an Uncle.  This morning around 9:00 AM, my sister Sara O' Leary gave birth to a six pound, one ounce baby girl.  They named her Abigail Grace O'Leary.  This is my parents first grandchild and my brother-in-laws parents first grandchild as well.  So this is a pretty big deal.  I really don't have much to say besides Congratulation to Kevin and Sara on their beautiful baby girl!

She's Married to Who?!

And now Flock followers, the moment you've all been waiting for. The first SMTW post of the Second Coming. Enjoy.

So There's This Video...

So this weekend Saturday Night Live had Stephen A Smith as a guest on the weekend update segment.....

Love the whole thing except the squeaky bits, kinda overplayed, but they get most of Stephen's mannerisms down pretty well.  

Stephen A Smith is the father of my children.

UMass is Pulling Out All the Stops

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I present you with some great news for out beloved University of Massachusetts.  With the basketball team's potential for success being as high as it's been since the Marcus Camby days of '95-'96, UMass is going balls deep.  Thanks to an anonymous $10 million donation, we will be graced with the presence of the "Champions Center."

The Champions Center will be located right next to the Mullins Center and the ice hockey practice rink. The date for breaking ground has not been announced but construction company contracting bids are due June 5th.

Check out what it's going to look like...

Shit My Uncle Feeds Me

Well Flock followers, it looks like you are about to be graced with a second coming of the "Fresh Men." Pajamas has gotten on our backs about making more posts, so aside from my daily(weekdays that is, excluding holidays and days I just flat out forget) "She's Married to Who?!" post, I'll be making this a regular column. We've made our migrations from The Zoo, and mine has landed me in a new nest. Quite a ways south of my usual shitting grounds, I've found myself staying with my uncle in New Jersey, just outside the city of brotherly love.

NBA Glasses

There's no way that both Durant and Westbrook need glasses. Right? They both come to every press conference dressed in the most ridiculous outfits and these hipster glasses. Are these just non-prescription glasses, or do they both wear contacts in-game and no one knows about it? In any case these guys are in a position to make glasses cool.

This wouldn't be a first. The NBA is unique in that the players can make a previously uncool trend cool as fuck. It started with MJ and baldness. Then you had the whole baggy clothes and bling of the AI era. Now you have these two rising superstars rocking glasses and goofy outfits. And Anthony Davis has a chance to make the unibrow cool as well. So regardless of whether Durant and Westbrook need glasses or not, I got to show respect for their ability to set this trend: I can only imagine the spike in hipster glasses sales.

PS. I definitely need to figure out who makes these types of glasses and buy their stock ASAP. Jew life at work right there ladies and gentlemen.

Homer

Since I missed all the MLB games today due to work, I had to watch highlights to catch up on todays action.  I stumbled across this video.  Homer gets hit in the head.  This poor mascot who is just meeting and greeting fans gets plunked off the dome by a foul ball.  Sure he has padding in that thing, but it still must hurt, right?  And to add to the fact that he was not watching the game at the moment of impact, anything that hits you by surprise makes it hurt 12 times worse.  I am kind of disappointed that I didn't see anyone rush to his aid.  Homer was probably concussed and dizzy as hell, but still no one came over to see if he was okay.  If that was any fan who got hit by a ball, event staff would be at the scene of the incident before the ball hit the ground.

Anyways, this is my first post of the Second-Coming of Geese Chatter.  It is short, but I just wanted to show PJ that I will blog when I have a chance.

~ALSO~
To all writers and followers, since we are not Fresh men (Freshmen) anymore, do we change our title to "Just a Bunch of Sophomoric Men?" As in being immature?  Just something to ponder at night when you lay in bed.

NATIONAL BROADCASTS MAY OR MAY NOT BE THE ABSOLUTE WORST...

Let's face it, folks, when your teams are playing on national TV, it is supposed to be a sort of honor. A sign that shows that your team is performing at a level so high that everyone around the country should be able to watch. However, when this happens, are you ever really happy?

In the NFL, it sucks because the games are moved from a nice, 1 o'clock or 4 o'clock, to a fucking obnoxious 8/9 o'clock game that won't end until way past D Schneid's bedtime. In the NHL, you get stuck with having to listen to Pierre McGuire and potentially, if you were unlucky enough to be a Flyer's fan this season, Kenny freaking Albert. Kenny Albert? I was waiting for Moose and Goose to chime in the entire time. But no, just Pierre.

Don't even get me started on Joe Buck calling baseball games with Tim McCarver. No one's happy about that. I'm pretty sure Tim McCarver doesn't know anything about baseball. All you Phillies fans out there know that he still can't pronounce the name Ruiz. It's not that hard and you'd think someone who broadcasts baseball, a game that has a strong presence of players named Ruiz, that he'd be able to figure it out. But no. He insists on calling him Carlos Ru-is.

During the NBA Playoffs, I've had to watch TNT and ESPN while they put their JV squad on to cover the Sixers. For all you Celtics fans out there, you feel my pain. Chris Webber? Pretty sure he's still stealing from the 76ers. I thought that was the last straw until last night when they stuck me with Doris Burke. The worst. The absolute worst. Every time Paul Pierce scored I'm pretty sure she was ready to pull his pants and get onto her knees right there at center court.

Whenever we're forced to watch these games, all the local fans are thinking is..."why can't I get my home broadcast?" Sure, they're biased, too biased for national TV, but who the hell cares? They are our announcers. They say what we want to hear and know the teams better than anyone else. Plus, then we wouldn't have to hear Doris fucking Burke.

Holly Rowe is Valerie Voorheis

Holly Rowe

Val Pal

Wannabe macroeconomics professor by day, creepy ESPN sideline reporter by night.  Just throws those fakeout plastic glasses on to make us think she's an intellectual or something.  Looked like she wanted Doug Collins' D just like she wanted Marko's back in February.  Good thing we all aced her class without even going.  

P.S.  How much does Dave Pasch's life suck?  Dude must be suicidal after having to work a game with Doris Burke and Holly Rowe.

Where is the Love for Aroldis Chapman?

This guy throws 100+ mph, is a lefty, has a strikeout-to-walk ratio of 5:1, and has an ERA of 0.00 in 20.1 innings! Why have I heard next to nothing about him?  Dude is only 24 years old!  Enough with the Stephen Strasberg live look-ins on Baseball Tonight, I want to see Aroldis Chapman instead.  

Why is he not starting?  You can't tell me that he's not better than 4 out of 5 guys in the Reds rotation.  Who do they have starting?  Johnny Cueto, Bronson Arroyo, and three other scrubs.  I love me some Bronson but hands down this guy needs to be in there before him and the three other guys.

Also, does this guy have a nickname?  I'm debating between the Cuban Assassin and Fidel's Flamethrower.

What to Make of the Whole Youkilis-Bobby V Situation

A report today by Ken Rosenthal and 98.5 The Sports Hub said that “[Bobby] Valentine wanted Youkilis out as far back as spring training, viewing him as a liability.” It has also been publicized that instead of coming up to join the Red Sox for this weekend's series in Philadelphia (which was the plan initially), Youkilis will stay in AAA and play third base for Pawtucket this weekend.  It should be noted that Youkilis was 1-2 with a walk and a double in his most recent game for the PawSox on Wednesday.  Meanwhile, the Red Sox are in last place and Will Middlebrooks has cooled down quite a bit, having gone 0 for his last 9, with 7 strikeouts.  Although the Red Sox have won 6 out of 7, it's safe to say there is still plenty of tension in the clubhouse. 

First off, I'll say that I don't in any way think that this situation was handled properly.  Maybe I'm stuck on the Terry Francona mindset, but I don't believe that the manager should ever publicly speak out about wanting to get rid of his players. However, given the way the situation has unfolded, something has to be done.  You might say that this is just a report and that it might not be true, but with the comments that Valentine made about Youkilis earlier in the year, and the fact that he's not calling him up at a time when Middlebrooks could probably use a break, it's pretty clear to me that Valentine came into Boston with a plan to run Kevin Youkilis out of town.  Is this the right way to go about managing? It's not how I would do it, but the fact is that the management hired Valentine and now they need to support him. John Henry and Larry Luchino brought in Valentine to change the culture of the clubhouse.  For that reason, you can't expect the new manager to do things the way that the older manager did them, otherwise Francona would still be here. This is how Bobby V manages his team. He ran Todd Hundley out of town when he coached the Mets, and he came in with an agenda to do the same to Youkilis. Whether it's right or wrong, it's the way it is. The manager has to be supported and with the way he does things.  Youkilis has to go before this becomes an even bigger problem.


Who could the Red Sox get in exchange for Youkilis?  Sending Youkilis to Cincinnati (where he grew up and went to college), might be a good trade for all parties.  The Reds are just 2.5 games out of first place in the NL Central, and could use some help at third base.  Starting pitcher Bronson Arroyo (2-1, 3.25) and relief pitcher Logan Ondrusek (3-1, 2.76) could be good pickups for Boston.

Time to Get this Shit Rocking Again

The excitement of Big Dave's birthday is just the catalyst we needed to get this thing going again for the summer!  Happy birthday to everyone's favorite Redskins fan.  

Anyways, I've been sitting around on the couch for the past week and I need something to do so this is me being productive.  The Geese enjoyed a great year on Web-6 and are now back in their nests, scattered throughout the northeast.  The main contributors of the Resident Jew, Marko, James, and myself are all in the heart of UMass Nation, while Big Dave is holding down the capital city, and Merce and Tanvir's boyfriend are down south in Philly throwing in the towel with 76ers coach Doug Collins:

Summer 2K12 inbound, and the Geese are flying strong.  Keep reading us every day!