The Head Goose Has Spoken

So if you have read some of the posts of this blog from its first week of existence, you've probably noticed a lot of #swag from the contributors. Resident Jew, Marko Polo, and Big T think they're the shit. That's all well and good. They had their fun. The head honcho is in the building now and it's time for you to listen up. You can call me Paul, PJ, Peej, Pajamas, Peanut Butter and Jelly, Papa John, Peejizzle. No matter. I'm the top of the food chain in Web 6 and on this blog. Now that I'm writing this, everyone is surely going to be up in arms that I am the self-proclaimed Head Goose, but let me silence the critics. I fly at the head of the V-Formation, and here's why:

Reason #1: Sporcle. All of those nights when the Temple (home of the Resident Jew) was flocked with geese doing trivia until 3am? Yup, that was me who started all of that nonsense. What can I say? Just bringing the floor together over some old fashioned trivia like it's my job. Oh wait... it is.

Reason #2: Baggage. Why study for finals? The Temple was packed Wednesday night for the Game Show Network's most popular show. So many silly geese just trying to study how to model their game after Jerry Springer, instead of studying for microeconomics. This is a great show when you have nothing else to do, but sports and finals always take priority. Mama goose is obsessed with this show too for some reason.

Reason #3: Toothbrush Dates. Basically every guy on the floor wants to brush their teeth with me every night. Line is practically out the door at 2:00am on week nights and 3:30am on weekends just to shine their pearly whites next to me. 'Bows being thrown left and right trying to get the sinks on the same side of the bathroom as me. What can I say?

Reason #4: Alex Morgan. Who else in the world has a life sized poster of the most beautiful athlete in the world on their wall? Answer: no one. No wonder they call my room "The Shrine." Bow down bitches.

Reason #5: I'm World Famous. Are there any other geese that can say they've been on national television in prime time, like ever? Yeah I've done it twice. First ESPN College Gameday. Then CBS 60 Minutes in prime time. Sure Chunias showed up on Good Morning America, but who watches that anyway? Seven o'clock in the morning?  Get real. He's at Sig-Ep more than Web-6 anyway so he's basically only a part time member.

Did I forget to mention whose blog (see what I did there?) inspired this blog? Oh right. Once everyone cleaned up their pants and got their shit together, they decided to follow the leader, with me at the head of the V Formation.